Josh's MRI

Josh's MRI went off without a hitch. We checked into the hospital at 9:00 a.m. We were taken back to his "room" where a nurse asked every health question known to man...LOL....then listened to his heart and lungs, checked his blood pressure and oxygen saturation level. She then gave us a pair of pajamas (hospital gown and pants) for Josh to change into. At this point I'm kicking myself because I realize I forgot to bring my camera to document this occasion for his scrapbook! Duh!

After we got him changed, the nurse told us we had some time to wait because they were a little bit behind. She said he could either watch a movie (they have a whole library of videos/DVD's) or he could go play in the play-room. He chose to go to the play-room. It was every child's dream! Nearly every toy imaginable! About 10:15, we had to go back to the room for his "happy-juice" (the medicine to relax him).....he had to stay on the bed or on mommy or daddy's lap because this happy-juice made him wobbly....LOL. So he sat in bed and played with a toy he brought from the play-room and watched Lightning McQueen...his favorite movie!

At about 11:00 a lady came to take him to have his MRI done. He was so relaxed by this point, I don't think he cared about anything....LOL. He doesn't have a problem with being separated from us anyway, so it went pretty good. I gave him a kiss and told him to be a big boy....I almost started crying at this point, but I knew they'd take awesome care of him. He got to take Charlie (his little stuffed dog) with him too, so that was a comfort.

After they took him, we went down to the cafeteria to get some lunch. I felt guilty for eating because I knew Josh must be terribly hungry. He hadn't eaten since 8:30 p.m the night before.....he couldn't have any solids after midnight and no liquids after 6:30 a.m.....well he didn't wake up till 6:40 a.m......I offered him some kool-aid, but he didn't want it....he wanted chocolate milk....and I couldn't give it to him. He was kinda mad at me, but he didn't fuss about it too much.

We got back to his room at about 11:50 a.m. and about 20 minutes later, Josh was back. He was still kinda groggy from the anesthesia and kinda cranky, but no worse for the wear. He got to eat a popsicle and drink some apple juice shortly after coming back to his room. The nurse checked his heart and lungs again and about 12:45 she told us whenever we were ready to go, we could take him home!

We got him up and dressed and by 1:15 we were leaving the hospital. He fell asleep on the way home and took about an hour nap. When he woke up he was crying and I asked him what was wrong....he said "the bones in my head are broken!".....he had a headache. :o( It's so cute how he explains himself....I felt bad for him because I didn't have anything with me to give him....he had to wait till we got home. We got home at about 3:00.....I gave him some tylenol and he was pretty much back to his old self shortly after that.

We probably won't know the results till Monday, but the nurse said if there had been anything major, they would've told us right away at the hospital. So that was good news. So I guess we'll wait and see what they find out.

Where's OUR snow?

Yes, you can call me crazy! I'll admit it, I am....LOL.....I'm kinda jealous that the northeast part of the country is getting so much snow! We were suppose to get 6 inches the other night and IT NEVER HAPPENED! I was looking so forward to all that snow! And now it's suppose to be above freezing for the next couple days, so the snow we have is going to all melt away. :o(

I miss the "good 'ol days" when winter pretty much meant there was snow on the ground all winter! At least that's how I remember it when I was younger.....sledding, building snowmen, making snow angels....the whole nine yards....all winter.

Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy spring when it comes, but I LOVE snow too! And for the weather man to tease me with the prospect of 6 inches of snow and then it never shows up...that's just plain evil! LOL

Stupid drivers......WHY!?

This is something that has bothered me for quite awhile.....it'll probably seem petty to some, but I feel it's a hazard to others.....it's the stupidity of what seems to be quite a few drivers.

At the corner where I turn to go home, it is a T intersection.....a road going North/South and the adjoining road only goes East, it doesn't intersect it. We'll call the North/South road, A Street and the East road, B Street. I turn off of A Street onto B Street, which is a two way with a double, solid yellow line. More times than I can count, when I go to turn, a car will be sitting either on the yellow line or completely in my lane waiting to turn left!!!! Do these people not know what a double solid yellow line means?! Is it completely beyond their understanding that there is NO TURN LANE?!

I've thought several times about going out there at night and spray painting on the road "THIS IS NOT A TURN LANE.....STAY ON YOUR SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!" Not that I ever would....I'm not that brazen......but c'mon people.....get a clue!

I will admit, I'm a perfectionist and when other people don't "follow the rules" it can drive me crazy....LOL.....I'm trying to work on that aspect of my life. Don't get me wrong on this though....I am far from perfect....I just like to try to keep things in my life as perfect as I can.....it doesn't always work and that irritates me......again....I'm trying to work on this.

In the meantime, I guess I'll have to just keep giving the drivers that sit on my side of the road the "eye" and hope next time they'll think twice about it. :o)

Appointments have been made

Joshua will be having his MRI on Friday. We have to be at the hospital at 9:00 a.m. (gonna be an early morning...UGH!). Then his MRI is at 10:45. I'm not exactly sure what to expect. I suppose I should Google MRI and see what it's all about so I know what we're getting into. Although, he's being sedated for it, so it shouldn't be too eventful. I'm anxious to find out what exactly it is they're looking for and if they find it or not.

I just want answers......I want to know why my little boy is always angry and aggressive....why he can't sit still for more than 30 seconds (unless he's watching a favorite cartoon, but then he's zoned out and doesn't even hear me if I try to get his attention).....why he's so mean and aggressive toward our dog....and even though our dog has bit him several times, why he goes back for more......why he won't listen even when he's threatened with punishment.....why when he's punished does he not realize that it's because he did something wrong, not because we don't love him.....why he forgets a rule or directions almost immediately after he's been told.....I just want to know why.

I'm so frustrated with him sometimes that I just want to cry.....I just hope we get the answers we need to help him.

His genetics testing will be on March 17th. One of his 1/2 sisters was diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis, so I'm assuming that is why the neurologist was wanting him tested. She threw so much information at us that day that I honestly don't know alot of what she said and all the why's of what we're doing.

His appointment to see the Developmental Pediatrician isn't until May 19th (she's apparently REALLY busy)......heck, by then I probably won't remember why we're seeing her.....LOL. No, not really, but geesh, you'd think if there's that much of a demand for this type of doctor that there would be more of them so a person wouldn't have to make an appointment 5 months out!

I'll keep everyone updated as to the results of the appointments as we have them. Ta ta for now.

Fun in the snow

We got about an inch or two of snow on Friday.....as soon as Kylee got home from school, she and Josh were outside to play on their new sleds that they got for Christmas (finally!)
Josh was having a difficult time getting on his sled....he just couldn't quite figure out how to do it. Notice Kylee being a daredevil and trying to go down backwards.....LOL

The sled even decided it wasn't going to wait for him and started down the hill without him....LOL!

When he finally figured it out, it was so cute to watch him smile with delight! He loved every second of the ride down the hill.....it was the beginning of many, many more to come!

We're in for some more snow tonight, so I'm sure they'll be outside with their sleds again.....having the time of their lives!

What is wrong with me?

I've been so emotional lately. I cry at the drop of a hat....I get angry over nothing....I snap at my kids and my husband for no reason.....I'm exhausted all the time....all I want to do is sit around and do NOTHING....and I've been eating sweets and salty foods like crazy (even when it's not almost "that-time-of-the-month")!
Then I heard something on the radio the other day....Seasonal Affective Disorder.....and I wondered "could this be what's wrong with me?" I read the definition online...it says:

Seasonal affective disorder (SAD), also known as winter depression or winter blues, is a mood disorder in which people who have normal mental health throughout most of the year experience depressive symptoms in the winter or, less frequently, in the summer,[1] repeatedly, year after year. The US National Library of Medicine notes that "some people experience a serious mood change when the seasons change. They may sleep too much, have little energy, and crave sweets and starchy foods. They may also feel depressed. Though symptoms can be severe, they usually clear up.

The treatments include light therapy with bright lights, anti-depression medication, ionized-air administration, cognitive-behavioral therapy and carefully timed supplementation of the hormone melatonin.

I defintely don't want to be put on any medication unless it would be ABSOLUTELY necessary! And I can't really afford to go to the doctor for something that MIGHT be wrong with me...so I guess I'll just have to hope the sun comes out more often and tough it out till Spring.....c'mon Spring....only about 3 more months!

A new addiction

I've recently realized (like 10 minutes ago) that I am addicted to e-bay! I love getting something for less (including shipping) than what I would pay for it if I went to the store. I got started on e-bay about 4 years ago when I wanted to increase my font supply for my Sizzix. To buy a set in the store would cost around $150.....so to get a set for about $60 (including shipping) was AWESOME!! I was a little reluctant at first, but once I made a couple purchases, I got very comfortable with it. LaVern then got on the bandwagon and bought a dump truck through e-bay. I don't mean a toy dump truck either.....he (and our son-in-law) had to drive to Minnesota to get it! I got a great deal on an American Girl doll for Kylee last Christmas. I even bought doll clothes for her doll on e-bay too. My latest purchase was for Joshua...."Boulder Mountain" for his GeoTrax set. We LOVE GeoTrax!! :o)

I gotta stop though....I don't want my credit card so maxed out that I can't afford the monthly payment...LOL. I might have to start selling on e-bay to make up for all the buying I've done! (and seriously, I've only made 36 purchases over 4 years....that's not too bad....right?)

Sorry e-bay, I'm taking a vacation from you for awhile.

I think we're on the right path

Joshua went to see the Pediatric Neurologist on Wednesday. At first I didn't think it was going to go too good. I started to explain how we came about to think that something was "not-quite-right" with Josh and the doctor kept insisting I tell her what his symptoms were. I got a little frustrated and told her "I'm getting to that".....I was a little reluctant to go right into what I thought was wrong with him because I didn't want her to think "Oh, well, you're just not parenting him right....he needs more discipline"....or something along those lines. It's not something you can just explain. You have to see it and hear it to fully understand how he acts and talks, etc.

Along with a lot of information about his birthmom, LaVern and I both told her that about his anger issues. How he can fly off the handle in a millisecond about the simplest thing. We mentioned how hyper he can be....staying up till "God only knows when" because we have no idea when he finally crashes and falls asleep. We have a gate in his doorway to keep him in his room at night. Otherwise he'd be all over the house! We told her that he's infatuated with wheels, fans, anything round.....but yet he's scared of ceiling fans. He's terrified of heights....even sitting him up on the counter freaks him out. And don't even think of picking him up over your head.....it totally scares him! (not that I could anymore....he weighs 48 pounds!!!) I mentioned that he twirls his plate at the dinner table and that he can't leave our dog alone even though I've told him a million times to leave him alone.....and that he's been bit at least 5 times and still goes back for more!

She then proceeded to do some "tests" on him. Tested his reflexes, his eyes, his coordination, etc. She said he did pretty good....he's a smart boy. I thought "that's great....so we're crazy because we think something's wrong with him".

Then she told us the diagnosis: Fetal Alcohol Syndrome

I wasn't sure what to think at first.....I hadn't even considered Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.....I'd researched ADD, ADHD, SPD, ODD, PDD-NOS, even Asperger's Syndrome. After looking online about the symptoms of FAS, I found out that there's a lesser degree called FAE (Fetal Alcohol Effects). It has the same symptoms, but there isn't as much, if any, facial disfigurement and a child with FAE can have a normal to high IQ.

He has to go back to have an MRI and genetics testing done. We were also referred to a Developmental Pediatrician. I'm still doing a bunch of research on this, so I'm a little confused and lost as to what all of this means. But I want Josh to have the best in life and if it takes doing all of this and more for him, then I'm willing to go to the ends of the earth to get it for him!

All I want for Christmas.....oh...wait...ok, maybe Easter....is my two front teeth!

Kylee finally lost her second top tooth on the 11th! She had been working on it for about a month....wiggling, pushing, pulling...you name it, she tried it....and in fact, the final pull had to be done by mommy. She was worried it was going to hurt. So I told her I wouldn't pull hard and if it hurt, she could tell me to stop.

She handed me a paper towel and I reached up and got my fingers around it and in one quick yank, it came out (there wasn't much holding it in).....she didn't even realize it was out at first...LOL. I asked her if it hurt and she said "no, not at all". She started singing "All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth" and I reminded her that Christmas is over (or a very long time away if we're talking '09 Christmas) so she changed it to "All I want for Easter is my two front teeth".....LOL.

She's realizing how difficult it is to eat certain things now. She can't crunch into an apple....I have to cut it up for her....LOL. When she bites into a sandwich she has to bite from the side of her mouth or she ends up leaving part of the bite still on the sandwich....LOL It's a whole new experience. :o)

"Mommy, can I do your hair?"

This was done awhile ago (December 20th to be exact...as you can see on the picture....LOL), but I wanted to share. Kylee wanted to "fix" my hair so I happily gave in and let her. She brushed and primped and styled.....and this is the result:

You should've seen it from the back! I didn't think to get a picture of the back....it was quite a hoot! She had put two ponytails in and then clipped all kinds of things to my hair....Aren't I gorgeous? LOL!! :o)

You'll find this funny

With all the sadness that has engrossed the last week or so, I thought it would be nice to lighten the mood a little.

Last Saturday after work, I had sat down and got my laptop out to check my e-mail.....then Josh sat next to me with his little V-Tech Laptop Plus and proceeded to play games and music......well, Kylee decided she didn't want to be left out, so she grabbed her V-Tech Nitro Notebook "laptop" and sat next to Josh and she started to play games, etc.

LaVern thought this was just waaaay too funny and grabbed the camera to take a picture.

Grandma is at rest

Grandma was laid to rest today. The funeral was beautiful. She was a HUGE Elvis Presley fan, so the selection of music were mostly by Elvis....."How Great Thou Art" and "Amazing Grace". A third song "Love Lifted Me" was by the Statler Brothers. I was doing fine until the Pastor mentioned some of the things she use to love to do....gardening, crafting, sewing, her love of Elvis....and she even combined two of her loves, sewing and Elvis, and made Elvis-like jumpsuits for Steven (cousin) and Uncle Jim....I remembered this so vividly...then the faucets opened up and I cried.

Everyone gathered at Uncle Jim's house after the burial for a luncheon. It was nice to get to see so many Aunts, Uncles, cousins, second-cousins all in one place; family that I hadn't seen in SOOO long! I recognized most everyone, but there were a couple that I had to ask "who's that?" :o) I hope Grandma looked down from Heaven to see all of the family together in her honor.

We love you Grandma and you will be missed very much!

Last night was so difficult

The viewing for family was last night. Everyone went in and signed the "guest" book....and filed by Grandma in her casket.....and cried. She looked so peaceful. I kept expecting her to open her eyes and say something. Of all the family, I felt the worst for my Uncle Jim and Aunt Debbie.....they did soooo much for Grandma and Grandpa through the years.....they had also been taking care of Grandpa and Grandma in her final days. Staying overnight so they'd be there when she passed. I found out today that Grandpa blames Uncle Jim in part for her death (in addition to blaming the doctors for not doing anything for her). They were told that when she stopped having dialysis that it would only be 24 to 48 hours and she would fall into a restful sleep and pass away peacefully. That wasn't the case. She lived for a week after being taken off dialysis. She obviously had some pain since they were giving her morophine. She apparently was struggling for air at the end because her body was full of fluid. She basically drowned on her own body fluid. It wasn't Uncle Jim's fault though....he was only doing what the hospice nurse had told him to do, but Grandpa doesn't see it that way. He thinks everyone just stood by and let her die because nobody would do anything to help her and that Jim was making it worse by giving her the morophine. I hope someday soon Grandpa will be able to see past the hurt that's in his heart and that he'll be able to apologize to Uncle Jim.

My Grandma passed away

We had been expecting it for a few days. The dreaded phone call. It finally came at 1:40 a.m. this morning. Grandma passed away in her sleep. I thank God that she wasn't in any pain and that she passed peacefully. Now to endure the funeral....my heart aches for my Grandpa. My Uncle says he's taking it pretty well....he's had time to process everything in the last few days, so it wasn't a huge shock, but I know he's hurting. He was so upset that the doctors "just gave up on her". He wanted them to do something to help her and they said there was nothing more they could do. He told me they took her off all of her medication and that she was done with dialysis....when he said it he sounded like "what do I do now?" He'd been taking care of her for so long and now it was all over. So I know he's hurting....he just won't show it.

Christmas is over :o(

I took everything down yesterday.....the tree, the decorations off the mantel, our singing snowman, the nativity, the "Countdown to Christmas" snowman.....everything. It's kinda nice to get it all put away, but it's so exhausting! Sometimes I wish it could be Christmas all year, but without the gift giving part....LOL. I love Christmas music and the whole "Good will toward men" feeling.....it's just sad that it only comes once a year. Josh came down the stairs this morning and said "Christmas is over" and I said "yeah, it's all put away for now". So until next Christmas season, everything is bagged up, boxed up and stored away in the storage room. Whew! Glad that's done.

Counting down the days

Josh's appointment is in 10 days! He'll be seeing the Pediatric Neurologist at the Children's Hospital.
I've been talking to some other mom's that have kids with SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder) and PDD-NOS (Pervasive Developmental Disorder-Not Otherwise Specified) and their kids were diagnosed by Occupational Therapists, Psychiatrists or Speech Therapists....so I'm wondering if a neurologist will be able to diagnose him properly? Hopefully this won't be a waste of time and we end up having to take him back to see a different doctor.

Here is a "short" article about PDD-NOS. This is what Caty (his half sister) was diagnosed with.

Parents are understandably confused by some of the terms we use in the current American diagnostic classification system, DSM-IV. One of the most elusive of those terms is PDD-NOS which stands for Pervasive Developmental Disorder, Not Otherwise Specified.
In the current diagnostic system Autism is defined as a Pervasive Developmental Disorder. This group of disorders is characterized by severe and pervasive impairments in several areas of development: reciprocal social interactive skills, communication, and the presence of stereotyped behaviors, interests, and activities. These impairments are relative to an individual’s developmental level or mental age.
Autism is, of course, the most common of the Pervasive Developmental Disorders. To help with the diagnosis, DSM-IV 12 characteristics that one frequently sees in autism, 4 from the social interaction area, 4 from the communication area, and 4 from the stereotypic area. An example of a social impairment is the failure to develop peer relationships appropriate to one-s developmental level, a communication deficit is lack of varied, spontaneous, make-believe play, or social imitation play appropriate to developmental level, and a stereotypic characteristic is persistent preoccupation with parts of objects. A diagnosis of autism is given if 6 or more total characteristics are present in an individual with at least 2 from the social area and 1 from both the communication and stereotypic behavior areas.
Pervasive Developmental Disorder, Not Otherwise Specified (PDD-NOS) was introduced to classify individuals showing problems and disabilities related to autism but that fall short of the number of characteristics or range of impaired areas that is required for a definition of autism. A child could have a diagnosis of PDD-NOS if he shows only 5 of the 12 characteristics listed under autism or if he has more than 6 characteristics spread over the 3 areas but only 1 in the social area. Another way to think of PDD-NOS is as subthreshold autism or a child who has atypical symptomology that does not quite fit with the 12 characteristics one assesses under autism.
Given the definition of PDD-NOS it should follow that the diagnostic instruments should be very similar to those for autism. The reason is that the purpose of a diagnostic evaluation for PDD-NOS is to examine the same symptoms that interest us in autism. Clients ultimately receiving a diagnosis of PDD-NOS tend to be higher functioning and with better language skills than one typically sees in the average child with autism. Therefore batteries assessing more advanced intellectual and language skills are generally the most appropriate.

We're pretty sure this is what Josh has too....he shows MANY signs. So now we just wait till his appointment. Pray that we have a safe trip and we'll be able to figure this out soon. :o)

Not a very good way to start the new year

First off I got the stomach flu early on Wednesday (new year's eve) morning. I woke up at 2 a.m. and threw up....then again at 5 a.m., 6 a.m., 7:30 a.m. and 10 a.m.......luckily that was the last time! In the midst of all of this sickness, I got a phone call from my Uncle at about 8 a.m. He called to tell me that my grandma is dying and probably wouldn't make it more than 48 hours and if I wanted to see her that I should do so as soon as possible. I told him I wouldn't be able to make it that day because I was sick. I felt awful all day.....I was scared to eat anything for fear I would throw up again and I was scared I wouldn't get to say good-bye to my Grandma before she passed away. About 5 p.m. I braved eating some saltine crackers....they stayed down. So I poured a glass of orange Kool-aid and sipped on that.....that stayed down. I was on the mend, but still not feeling up to having any kind of "fun" for New Year's Eve. We ended up going to bed at 10:30, but I had soooo much on my mind, I couldn't fall asleep. I laid there till at least 11:30. I woke up the next morning feeling MUCH better. Unfortunately, I had to wait to go see my Grandma. They didn't want children there and I didn't have anyone to watch my kids, so I had to wait till my husband got home. I made it over there at about 8:30 p.m. and sat and held her hand for about 30 minutes while I talked to my Grandpa. She's on morophine, so she was "asleep" the whole time I was there. The hospice nurse told my aunt and uncle that she hated to put a time-line on things, but she was giving her about 24 hours (which would've been Friday afternoon). I waited in fear of getting the dreaded phone call.....but it never came. She's still hanging on. It's just a matter of time now.